Sometimes Negative Nelly visits. She’s a real bitch.

May 18, 2012 3 Comments

Yesterday I was sad. I woke up that way, and the funk remained. I yelled at my kids, I stomped around scowling. The kids went to their respective schools where the people were nicer. I stopped at the supermarket, then stayed home and sat on the couch all day, watching my favourite tv shows. I didn’t blog. Well, I didn’t hit publish. But then today I’m feeling much better. I opened the curtains and let the sun in, I’m smiling at the people I see.

I do this sometimes. Maybe it’s hormonal. Maybe it’s seasonal.

Mrs Woog inspired me to look at my rants yesterday and publish them. Just like her, I’m not crazy, I don’t need therapy, I was just having a bad day.

Ready to visit the dark side with me?  You don’t have to, you can run away now if you’d like.

……Let’s go.

Samplings of a shitty day
(super awesomely imaginative title)

I’M ANGRY

I’m feeling unnecessarily angry at other drivers. How dare they drive in a manner I think breaks the rules? I haven’t bothered to look them up, because I don’t care. Other drivers are in the wrong. Why are they parking so shitty? Did they let their senile grandma drive them to the shops?

Oh for f****sake. If you don’t know how to use the self-checkout and need assistance, why did you try and go through it? Bitching about the lack of staff these days won’t help you be less dumb.

Why yes, I am wearing biker boots. Because that’s what bitches do. Now stop looking at me.

I’M SELF LOATHING

I feel crappy because I ate sugar and let my joints get inflamed. I feel crappy because I ate chocolate and flared up my reflux. I feel crappy because I stayed up past midnight, despite knowing the kids are up before dawn. All these things, I did to myself. Well done. Why not go get herpes while I’m at it?

Why did I come back to sugar after all this time, and why can’t I quit it again? The scales will just go up and up so long as I’m eating it, and my clothes won’t fit, and I’ll feel physically horrible. How pathetic am I that I can’t quit it when I already did before?

There are no job ads I want to apply for. They all suck. I’ll never get a bigger car or my own house. I should apply for public housing and go live with my own kind.

I’M SORRY

I love my kids. I love my life. Mostly I like myself. I just needed to eat some real food, decompress, detox and sleep.

 

Next time I’m in a funk, I think I’ll skip the emotional crap and just go straight for the burger.

3 Comments

Things I know today

May 18, 2012 4 Comments

1. If I sneeze on the kids lunches and nobody sees me, it didn’t happen. If they sneeze on mine, I want a replacement.

2. Yelling “Mummy!!” as if it were an emergency when all you want to do is show me a ‘cool booger’, will result in me ignoring all further emergency cries. How long before the wolf comes and eats my children, I wonder?

3. Finally agreeing to fund extra-curricular activities results in requests to fund more extra-curricular activities – and to volunteer as well.

4. Every time one of my Facebook friends falls for a ‘Free Something’ scam, I lose a little respect for them.

5. The Wiggles are over.  I feel sorry for the new Wiggles and their future unemployment status.

6. On a related note, Anthony Field is as creepy as this guy on Masterchef. Fortunately for my current viewing preferences, creepy Masterchef guy is nicer.

7. When buying a fancy coloured toaster, and paying extra for the tinted privilege, I should probably check what colour my benches are first.

8. I’m not allowed to have pens at my desk. There’s a rule about that. If I want to write something completely illegibly, I have to work for it. Since I am also a habitual pen sucker, the pens that I find on the toilet floor are unacceptable.

9. Apparently shrinkage is acceptable. Fewer biscuits in a packet, less Vegemite in a jar…and now I can’t even win a car because so many promoters are offering ‘the use of a car’  for a short time instead. I already have the use of a car. I’m sure if I flash my boobs I can have the use of any car I like. Failing that, I could rent one instead of paying my own rego and repairs. Despite what anyone says, you can’t really defend shrinkage.

10. It’s hard to write a blog while protecting a 2 year old from the scary scenes in a movie she requested. For the bazillionth time. It’s okay though, the Disney Princesses scare the crap out of me too.

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