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In the past 100 years, the definition of a relationship has changed significantly. If we think back to our grandparents’ era – or even back to when our parents met – the understanding of a relationship, and indeed the meaning of marriage, was simpler. A man met a woman, they started a relationship and then made a commitment to spend the rest of their lives with each other through their marriage vows.
Today, the definition of a relationship is harder to pin down. Traditional values and ideas of marriage have been replaced by a smorgasbord of ideas, beliefs and expectations.
Boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wives, partners, de facto relationships, same-sex relationships, single women, single men and single parents all reflect the changing nature of relationships and highlight the difficulty of creating a ‘one size fits all’ definition. Even Family Law recognises that families today take many forms – if you’re in a same-sex or de facto relationship you predominately enjoy the same rights should your relationship break down as a married couple.
But there’s also been a shift in attitudes and expectations when it comes to relationships. In part, this can be put down to increasing secularisation and the changing roles of men and women. The modern woman is less likely to settle for the sole role of mum or housekeeper. While there are certainly still stay-at-home mums, women now make this choice and enjoy the same opportunities as men.
Another major indicator of this shift in attitudes and expectations is the divorce rate. Demand for divorce lawyers is high – nearly 50% of all marriages in Australia end in divorce, and scepticism around the marriage tradition and commitment have increased. Furthermore, those in a marriage are unlikely to stay if they are not happy or their expectations are not met. According to the Relationships Indicator Survey 2011, the 3 main reasons people married were for love, companionship or to signify a life-long commitment. The three main reasons a relationship broke down were financial stress, communication difficulties and different expectations and values. Compared to data from 2008, differing expectations increased significantly as a factor.
With changing expectations, societal norms, forms and acceptance of different relationships, it’s hard to conclusively comment on the state of Australian relationships.
